Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Fuhh banyaknyaa habuk menyinggah kat blog ni ye. It's been a really long time I didn't updating any post and alhamdulillah for today there's a chance to type and sharing something in this blog. Hehehe sorry for those whos waiting for my post, maap ler lately ni mmg busy nak tahap apa dah. Pepatah pujangga yg pujangga sanagat tu ada mengatakan form 4 ni tahun honeymoon. Haprak! Lagi bergunung homework, berkajang essay kena settle ada lah hahaha. But it's okay, that's how we tend to learn. Alhamdulillah, Allah still giving us chances living, breathing and loving in this beautiful world, would always remind yourself to appreciate a little things happened in your life as it might be the most important one.

After struggling through the mp4, jamuan raya, mid year test, persaraan bonda/maam, and for the real now, after finishing our SMA trial, it's damn tough I told ya. For the every single minutes and seconds I'm being there, I have to be like zombie yg mmg tak makan ptg, supper mlm and struggling through the early wake up and late night of sleeping by studying, completing assignments and finishing homework...... Argh, too tough to handle. Too hard to explain. But that's how it's work for life, for success. I know for the God sake, it was for my own goodness and happiness back then but somehow, you know how it feels of a whole day living with tiring that I even rest mcm "eh dah pukul 6 pagi?" "eh dah pukul 10 mlm?" and rushing through everything to make it settled asap. Best kan hidup? Teach me how to exercise indeed *nangis*



But to make in a positive way, I learned to much in life, be it in my life or others life. I'm being more independent than before (even I need to call my mum hntrkan makanan, baju and kiss hug for every week but there is still my effort to be independent ok) Mcm sebelum ni if I'm thinking it back, there's a lot of things that I can't do it by my own. There's always must be my mama or ayah to look after me. I can't, cause basically I've been the only mum and daddy's little girl so no wonder I naturally behave like that. But at some point, I can't make it as my reason to not be independent. Mungkin kita taknak berdikari, tapi hidup. Dgn secara langsung atau tak langsung, you'll learn from it. It's a must. Even ambik nasi dlm tray without mama and ayah dkt sebelah pun it's called independent tau (sbb dah terbiasa mama ambikkan kat rumah) and siapkan assingment memalam buta bcs usually mama akan temankan and do some research for my work. It's a real need of energy for doing it without her. So I used to think that every steps I made from the very beginning at samten, it was a really damn tough of step because I was expected it better but Allah knows well right? So is it need of complain? Mungkin sometimes (padahal selalu) ada merungut or sigh sana sini of why I am here, why I am the one who need to really get through of this? Why me?! But then the angel of me replied that "you are the Choosen one, Iz" So, be grateful and independent.

Aku ni bukan jenis yg penyabar yang mana kalau orang potong queue aku pun aku halalkan je hahaha haha ha kirim salam ajelah. No, I am not. I used to be a real quick anger mcm monster (adik aku ckp aku mcm monster sbb garang sgt haha jahat kan lol) But bila kat asrama/ sekolah, perghhh. It's a real need a lotssssssssssss of sabar and belajar untuk pasrah bila org potong queue (sbb aku mmg pantang kalau org potong queue, tapi kalau aku takpe pulak kan ish3) Dgn ajaran cikgu yg kekadang mcm mumbling tah masuk tah tidak dgn tak pahamnye dgn kena paham pesen mengajar mereka nye dgn kena tahan bebelan mereka nya masyaAllah a lot of sabar kan? Apatah lgi dekat asrama, I don't really need to talk a lot about this la bcs everyone who tend to stay at hostel mmg kaw kaw faham. Dah potong queue tu satu, nak lepas lepas tu satu hal, dgn kemudahan yg masyaAllah banyak betul tu. Memang lah kena banyak bersabar. But somehow I respected ada sorg dak form 3 ni time tu tgh tunggu for tandas, mmg lama gila org dlm tu rasa ringan je mulut ni nak mencarut tapi astaghfirullah, sabar punya sabar mmg tak sabar punya sabar lah katekan, mmg aku dah marah2 ah en kesah lak pasal org dpn blkg. Lps org tu dh keluar rasa mcm nak maki tapi sabar, kira baik sgt dah Allah permudahkan urusan dia keluar. Patu she (org depan) offered me to go in first, aku mcm "eh takpe ke?" she smiled and said takpe. Mcm subhanallah, respect sgt! Nak ckp thank you malu, dah la marah2 tdi haish. Ironinya be patient of anything around you insyaAllah Allah reward u the best out of the best. Hehe



And whats the important is discipline. I know that everybody who tend to hear this word mesti rasa mcm nak maki je kan ok takpe I ship u guys. I know hows it feels, hard to work for it but it's a must kalau tak nanti situ kena denda sini kena denda sampai ke aspura kena tunjuk muka dah la malu. Seriously, I feel u guys but thats how life work. To be punctual in time, bangun awal, gi sekolah awal, prepared for school stuffs early and kekadang it reminds me at home "kalau skrg ni aku mesti tengah tidooo XD" but sigh I need to go to school. In the need of slower timing sobs sobs. Tapi apakan daya, bila aku fikir balik kira okay jugak la duduk asrama, for somehow it teach me to solat on time, to not wasting time with useless stuffs, and manage to set timing as there's always a schedule for what I have to do after that. And somehow it turn back to us, siapa yg nak mendisiplinkan diri anda kalau bukan diri anda sendiri? you'll work for yourself, not for anyone else as mama ada ckp "you should really be grateful for staying at hostel that for atleast, awak tak terkejut bila masuk U nanti. bljr dari skrg, kalau bljr senang dulu takkan lpstu bru nak susah kan?" well said. Kalau nak refresh balik, no need to count on for how much I did wrongdoings at hostel, kena blacklist nama tk dpt asrama omg fly sana sini, legend kan? Kill two birds with one stone, legend kau dapat pengalaman pun kau dapat. Even it's a so-called bad experience but thats how discipline work. Kadang2 org byk buat salah tu la would standing in the eyes of the world, because they understand and they learned.




I somehow when there's a leisure time I would looking around me, watching for what they do and thinking for why did they do and asking myself whats the point they doing that. But then, I wake up from my dream that my leisure time is non, but only when there's a time with Him. The one who will always protecting, caring and loving me as I am. When everyone is trying to push me and forcing me to be that to be this, but with Him, I find the real calmness of soul and heart. I couldn't ask for more, alhamdulillah for what I have now and hereafter. So actually, u gained more even more than I wanted to say kan? you just have to learn from now. Biar susah skrg, insyaAllah nanti senang sbb dah pernah experienced well tntg kesusahan. Tak semua yg nmpk senang tu hidupnya bahagia, Allah pasti kirimkan ujian tanda Dia rindukan kita. The more you experienced, the more you learned. And memandangkan mmg fresh bru lepas trial SMA, I want to share the amazing saying from them (bagi yang malas nak pegi sekolah literally mcm aku)

Imam Syafie "Pergilah merantau dengan penuh keyakinan nescaya engkau temui lima kegunaan iaitu ilmu pengetahuan, adab, pendapatan, menghilangkan kesedihan, mengagungkan jiwa dan persahabatan" 

Imam Syafie "Menuntut ilmu lebih utama daripada sembahyang sunat" 

Imam Al Ghazali "Wahai anakku yang tercinta, ilmu tanpa amal ialah gila dan amal tanpa ilmu pula adalah sia-sia. Ketahuilah hanya dengan ilmu sahaja dapat menjauhkan engkau daripada perbuatan maksiat dan mendorong berbuat taat" 

Al Bukhari "Aku terjaga lebih daripada 20 kali untuk mencatat hadis yang aku ingat" 

Nabi Duaud a.s "Ilmu di dalam dada bagaikan lampu dalam rumah"

InsyaAllah, jangan pernah rasa rugi pergi sekolah, menuntut ilmu. You even gained more that what you expect. Hanya dengan ilmu buat kau terbang lebih jauh dan tinggi. Kita ni jauh, jauhhh, jauuuuhhhh dari kesempurnaan. Biarlah punya ilmu dalam dada supaya tak dipandu kebodohan. K takleh review banyak sangat. Macam terkena kat batang hidung sendiri. Reflection utk diri dan semua. InsyaAllah

As for whatever happened next, hold on to The One Upthere. He will always be there for you, not for every single secs He leaves you. He is there waiting for your tears to wipe and du'a to answer. Maybe life wouldn't be like what we dream for but it came out like He planned, undoubtedly His plan is always beautiful. Keep on praying, keep on making du'a everyone! May Allah bless.